Loyalty Porn Star Parking

How about VIP parking spots at places like walmart and target and big retailers as a reward for spending x amount of dollars annually with them. kind of like king soopers points or frequent flyer miles in the form of the best parking spots. thats a good idea, can someone make that happen so i can take credit but never see a dollar from it, im ok with that.

Amber alert

All the other child molesters must really hate that one child molester who molested whatever child had to get molested in order for us to now have Amber alerts, It was probably some guy who had his name legally changed to 'Chester' to match his profession because he thinks he's fucking clever or something. So now every year at the child molester Christmas party (or technically i guess it's their "holiday" party now that they started accepting Jehovah's Witnesses) when the other molesters have had one too many nogs they talk all sorts of shit about Chester because he's made it harder for all the other child molesters to find steady work. They all want to revoke his membership but he's been the secretary/treasurer for almost two decades now and no one else wants to do that shit work. He goes to ALL the meetings and takes these ridiculously studious notes like it's the first day of a goddamn high school AP history class; plus he still uses this super old version of quickbooks for windows, i mean it works, but, eh, you know. Not to mention that quarterly newspaper thing he sends out with all the updates to the state laws and how far away you have to be from 'what' schools in 'which' counties... no one wants to admit it, but that shit is totes useful.